I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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