Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
