So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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