careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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