I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
