Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
