I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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