Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
