"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
