Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
