Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
