dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
