does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize