So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
