what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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