It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
