No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
