i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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