sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
