I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
