She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Are we still banned from the library?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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