Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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