The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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