dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
