im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
jump out the window naked night went bad
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
