id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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