were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am available for nakedness
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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