Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
