break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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