Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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