he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
