Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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