oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize