hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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