Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
