Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize