I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
