Please, let me fuck your mom
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
