god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
