so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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