Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
