He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
