I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
