Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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