I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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