I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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