I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this boner is exhausting
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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