Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
