so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
