yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
