I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
