Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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