I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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