The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize