Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
BRING THE BAGELS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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