wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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