how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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