Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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