made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
