hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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